What Lies Inside My Mind

ive liked this girl since my junior year and ive never had the balls to tell her how i feel and she off to cal poly in one month. i think about her everyday and ive never felt this way about a girl before and its killing me slowly in the inside knowing shes leaving and she has no clue how i feel towards her. i wanna tell her so bad how i feel but i know what the result is going to be and id rather not face the truth, does this make me a coward well idk but i feel like its the right thing to do. ive never been ever to tell anyone this because…well its just to tough for me to say this to someone and they understand. see the thing about her its not that i like her for her outer beauty but for her inner and that is what truly makes a women beautiful. she wasnt the prettiest girl around but she dam sure was the one whole would always put a smile on my face and give me that warm feeling in my heart that ive never felt towards a girl before. if only she knew hoe i felt toward her life we be so much easy but now i have to choices: 1. tell her how i feel and how much she means to me and the worse that can happen is i get a rejection and never see her again or 2. slowly watch the women i guess i feel in love in high school slowly leave me behind…..

today i remembered why i hated but loved cross country lol its too much dam pain and so much running, im not gonna lie im a complainer but as i said once xc aint my thing im a track guy. what really gets me to do xc is not the sport but the ppl that are in the sport. the guys that are there are what make it fun. it makes me feel good know that there is a whole team supporting each other and pour out our guts for each other. cross country is like high school relationship after theyre over you just keep on coming back for more even though you already know what the result and consequence thats its gonna be. 

i never stopped and thought about why i run…until today. The reason why i run is probably different the other ppls reason. I dont run just for the heck of it or for races and stuff like that i run cause i get more things from it. Like i get a family vibe that i love especially from my college team i never had that family atomopshere and it feels good to have one when i run, i also run to get away from my problems, when im out there running or racing i feel amazing because i have no worry in the world and i just pour my heart out in every race and its even more amazing when i win. I know if i run i will still and school and have a good life because running will keep me in check and stop me from making some dumbass decisions that ill regret in life. most importantly i do it for my family, im the only person to do something with there lives and i make them proud when i run and its a good feeling that u know someone is proud of you for doing what you love most. so i will continue to run until my heart stops beating and legs stop moving.